The Distinguished Gentlemen Tour rolls on, after the obligatory stop at Wal-mart since we were in Arkansas.
Coffee was the theme on my mind when we rolled back through Fayetteville headed for Memphis. However, the two divas with me needed a spa day. OK, so as not to confuse the record, they had both talked about needing to get a haircut, of which I have no interest. We tried the local Supercuts but the wait was too long, and I am the one that needed to go to Wal-mart. So they hit the salon there and got right in, a haircut, wash, and a few laughing cosmetologists later, we were ready to get back on the road.
Oh, but Arkansas wasn’t through providing us with Wal-mart people style entertainment. In the parking lot we found what can only be described as the most wicked Firebird or Trans Am (Even I’m not white trashy enough to know the difference,) ever known to man. It was decked out for an apocalypse that apparently involves off road grocery shopping. So we took some pics.
Finally we were on the road, with Memphis in our sights. Again, since these roads are traveled by my so many times a year, I took the wheel much of the way. Somewhere along this part of the trip, I believe Ryan had the bright idea to begin posting to FB as Rorschach from The Watchmen graphic novel. I couldn’t resist, I started posting as CR Manhattan. If you are not familiar, these are not comic book characters. These are gritty, disenchanted, deep characters who’s look at life is twisted, then two nerdy comics took that deep disenchantment and cracked ourselves up by creating twisted posts like,
“Saw dead dog on side of road. Reminded of recent comedy show. Fayetteville welcomes us with pack of hobos, possibly another
comedy tour. This city must be cleansed with d!#k jokes and f^#k stories. Will bathe in chuckles.” Ryan as Rorschach
“The dog, the road, the jokes… all without meaning in the whole of the universe – CR Manhattan”
So as we pull into Memphis, Ryan actually gets a bit giddy. Apparently his dad is a huge Elvis fan, so he was thrilled to be there. I could not help but notice that the giant Memphis Pyramid had been branded by Bass Pro Shops and Ducks Unlimited. Little did I know, until later that night, that it had actually been turned into a GIANT Bass Pro Shop. Man, now I’ve got to go back just for that.
Drove the guys around downtown a little bit before taking them to the essential Memphis visitors spot, Beale Street. Had lunch at the famous Dyers, a burger and hotdog joint there on Beale which is famous for having not changed their oil in over 100 yrs (yes they filter it, but they have never thrown it out just added to it… and yes
EVERYTHING served there is fried.)
Enjoyed our time on Beale. Shopped for souvenirs, looked at cars from the car show, listened to music, and got harassed by a panhandler. No Beale Street experience would be complete without that last one.
Our show that night was at P & H Café, which it turns was just about half a mile from the zoo, and area I’m familiar with. A really cool bar with a very hip vibe. The cook/bartender was one of those guys who you would think would kill you in an alley given a choice. Turns out, he’s famous. He played one of the first clients of Saul, on Better Call Saul. The show that night was GREAT. Again, small audience but very energetic. The locals we worked through to get this spot were awesome people. Tommy Oler knows how to run a room, and the regular hosts who opened for us, Kyle and Doug were very funny. Doug appears to be Ryan’s brain in a more Cam Porter like head. To say they connected would be an understatement. Doug told several jokes I thought Ryan would have written, and Ryan called back to not one, but two of said jokes. We made lots of good friends there, along with some very good professional connections.
Now I have to say at this point… I HATE RYAN GREEN. No, not because we have been on the road and he is finally getting on my nerves. NO. I hate Ryan Green because as I mentioned earlier we met a panhandler while on Beale. Well here we are 2hrs later, and Ryan hits the stage and starts into this bit about the panhandler. Not a joke, not an anecdote, a full on, thought out bit. My hatred comes in the form of jealousy because it would take me a week to process that encounter, find what I thought was funny, and come up with a one line joke, that I could THEN begin developing into a bit. To say Ryan is a natural would be unjust to the work he puts in. But I still hate him for that ability to write so quickly. (said with all Love Ryan.)
Post show glow was accentuated by the glow of grease off of each of our hands as we chowed down on some Krystals. Ryan had never had them, and Billy was itching for some having had regular access before moving to Oklahoma. They sat well for the drive to Oxford MS, home of Ole Miss, HOTTY TODDY. A drive punctuated with explanations of the history of the area by me. A theme that will get VERY OLD to the guys over the next two days.
Another 300 miles, another state down… tomorrow we hear all about what used to be where in Oxford.