On the First Day of December…

Happy December, I hope you survived your Black Friday brawl…

Let me start with a holiday joke/rant…

I have noticed a troubling debate on FB over the last few days, the ongoing debate of whether or not it is appropriate to mix colored Christmas lights with all white Christmas lights. 

1) I believe the more politically correct term would be North Pole-American Christmas lights rather than colored.

2) Anyone claiming to have PURE white Christmas lights is deluding themselves. How white does white have to be before you don’t allow it to mix with the North Pole-American lights? I don’t believe any white light can be considered pure enough to be the supreme color. If I cut white light with a prism does it not bleed Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet?

3) Finally, I do not believe the claims that the North Pole-American lights are lazy by nature, any more that I believe that the white lights are brighter just because of their white heritage. Yes, North Pole-American lights do blink off occasionally, but I would argue that so do the white lights under the same conditions, and controllers. Additionally we have been conditioned to see the brightness of the white lights. While the North Pole-American lights are equally illuminating, the fact is we have been conditioned to only see them with half of our visual sense (it is the classic cones vs. rods debate.)

In closing I would say that I do not believe in the forced mixing of white and North Pole-American lights. However I do believe that if one wishes to mix, that it should not be prohibited by Neighborhood Home Owners Associations, or even public opinion. You may believe what you choose about the mixing of lights, but keep your opinions to your own actions, do not force them on the actions of others.

And finally, this is meant to be satirical, and comedic. If you have read this far and are not amused, but rather irritated for some reason, please have a glass of eggnog, take 20 Christmas Carols, and don’t comment until the morning.

 I am CR Parsons COMEDIAN and I approve this message.

I would apologize for having been so long since my last post, but hey, I’m already back at the keyboard, so that is a positive.

Since my last post I have traveled more than 2000 miles, dressed like a cajun, acted like a professional and dead body, had a hospital stay, and finished an 8th month contest run…

Walt Disney World was awesome.  Definitely lived up to my expectations plus some.  I have a very long and detailed report which I will not bore you all with.  Suffice it to say the Food and Wine Festival is THE time to go as an adult without any children in tow.  However, prepare your walking shoes as according to my estimates we covered up to 5mi a day, and I’m lazy.

On return I learned that my blood hemoglobin level had bottomed out again.  That is the reason for the hospital stay.  They give you blood for that, which I have done each of the last three years.  I told my wife that if they don’t figure this out soon, I’m just growing fangs and moving to New Orleans.  They won’t notice yet another vampire down there.  You would think it wouldn’t be necessary as I am a lawyer, i.e. blood sucker as it is.  Speaking of blood suckers, my Halloween costume was the easiest I have done since I went as a nerd in high school.  Went at the unknown Robertson brother from Duck Dynasty.  Just added a headband to my everyday attire.  Even my brother didn’t realize I was in costume.

But enough about my personal life, what about the comedy…

Over the past month plus I have had the thrill of performing at several local venues, some of which I have visited often, others brand new.  I have been taking an improv class from Tulsa’s newest comedy venu, The Comedy Parlor in one of the up and coming downtown districts.  Had a couple of great improv shows there as well, the last of which I played a dead body, a part I was born to improv.

My comedy life and my professional career collided this month as well.  As a former lawyer for Legal Aid of Oklahoma, I was asked to perform for a couple of luncheons they were holding for some of the attorneys that do pro bono work through them.  It was wonderful to be allowed to lend my talents to such a noble cause, and good to see some former colleagues.  It will collide again in the immediate future as I and another attorney comedian locally have been invited to teach a continuing legal education course through the local bar association.  The association thought it would be fun to have a comedic CLE, and it just so happens that the other attorney has some experience in ethics matters (no not that kind of experience.)  If this goes over well, we may have a new cottage industry.

The finals of the Tulsa Loony Bin’s Tulsa’s Funniest Person contest was this past week.  It has been a long 8 months coming, but I made it to the finals yet again this year.  We had a great show.  Packed house of probably >150 was a great crowd for the show.  There were 6 finalists who each did 8 minute sets.  Not to brag, but after I calculated my 8 min of material, when I got on stage I found myself having to calculate time for response to the jokes, which took a full 1.5-2 min of my stage time.  It was UNBELIEVABLE!  But I was not the only comedian that did well, in fact I would claim that every comedian in the contest had their best performance.  When it was all said and done, I ended up 3rd, of which I am very proud.  That 3rd place position garnered me a weeks worth of work at the Tulsa Loony Bin as emcee, meaning 6 shows of 15 min each, a lot of stage time!

This week:

Lots of practicing for my CLE

Thursday – The Comedy Parlor, Improv performance

Friday – The Comedy Parlor, Blue Late Special

Sunday – Private Show

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